YOU AIN’T GOIN’ NOWHERE

                  (Parody of You Ain't Goin' Nowhere by Bob Dylan)

 

      The sky’ll roll up and the heavens pass

      The day that Jesus will come at last

      Get your mind on heavenly things

      Or you ain’t goin’ nowhere

 

            CHORUS:

      Ooh, we will ride up high

      That’s on the day the Lord’s gonna come

      Oh, ho, how we gonna fly

      To meet Him up in the air

 

      Now, I don’t care how many good things you done

      When you stand before Him, He won’t count one

      The only thing that the Lord will ask

      Is what did you do with Jesus? 

                        (repeat Chorus)

 

      Now, six young virgins, they fell asleep

      But oil in their lamps they could not keep

      They missed out on the Wedding Feast

      When the Bridegroom came at midnight

                  (repeat Chorus)

 

       On that day that He takes us up

       Are you gonna be there with us?

      There’s only one way through Christ Jesus

      Or you ain’t goin’ nowhere.

                  (repeat Chorus)

               Parody lyrics by Jack H Hopkins © 2018

              Great Jehoshaphat Music, ASCAP

                           I AM A PILGRIM

                             (Traditional; arranged by McGuinn-Hillman)

 

                I am a pilgrim and a stranger

                Trav’lin’ through this wearisome land

                I’ve got a home in that yonder city, good Lord

                And it’s not…not made by hand.

 

                I’ve got a mother, father and a brother

                Who have gone this way before

                I am determined to go and see them, good Lord

                Over on…that other shore.

 

               I’m goin’ down to the river of Jordan

               Just to bathe my wearisome soul

               If I can just touch the hem of His garment, good Lord

               Then I know…He’ll make me whole.

 

                (repeat first verse)

 
 

              THE CHRISTIAN LIFE

                       (Ira Louvin, Charles Louvin)

 

         My buddies tell me that I should have waited

         They say I’m missing a whole world of fun

         But I am happy, and I sing with pride

         I like the Christian life.

 

              CHORUS:

        I won’t lose a friend by heeding God’s call

        For what is a friend who’d want you to fall

       Others find pleasure in things I despise

       I like the Christian life.

 

        My buddies shun me since I’ve turned to Jesus

        But I still love them, they burden my heart

        I’ll try and lead them to walk in the light

        I like the Christian life.

 

                (repeat Chorus)

          Cover version of original Louvin Brothers lyrics

         © 1959 SONY/ATV Tree Music, BMI

 

         YOU DON’T KNOW WHAT YOU’RE MISSING

                                  (Parody of "You Don’t Miss Your Water" by William Bell)

 

        In the beginning, I didn’t know Him

       ‘Cause I was blind, and I could not see

        But when He saved me, oh, how I cried

       Y’don’t know what you’re missin’ ‘til y’ask Jesus inside.

 

       I was a playboy; I could not be true

       I couldn’t believe Jesus really loved you

       But when He saved me, oh, how I cried

       Y’don’t know what you’re missin’ ‘til y’ask Jesus inside.

 

       From the beginning, Jesus, He loved me

       But I was blind, and I could not see

       But when He saved me, oh, how I cried

      Y’don’t know what you’re missin’ ‘til y’ask Jesus inside.

      Y’don’t know what you’re missin’ ‘til you ask Jesus inside.

                    (Universal Music Publishing, BMI)

                     Parody lyrics by Jack H. Hopkins

                    © 2015 Great Jeshoshaphat Music, ASCAP

 

          TONIGHT JESUS HEALED MY HEART

          (Medley: “You’re Still On My Mind” and Parody of “Tonight the Bottle Let Me Down”)

 

       The jukebox was playin’ a honky-tonk song

       One more drink, I kept sayin’ and then I’ll go home

       Alone and forsaken, so blue I could cry

       I just sat there drinkin’ till the bottle ran dry.

 

              CHORUS:

       Tonight, Lord Jesus healed my broken heart

       He’s the One who loved me from the start

       The one true Friend, how great Thou art

       Tonight the Lord Jesus healed my broken heart.

 

       I used to have a bottle I would turn to

       But drinkin’ only made me feel worse

       So I turned my life over to Jesus

       He’s the only One could free me from this curse. Ooh-ooh—

 

                   (repeat Chorus)

 

        Tonight, Lord Jesus healed my heart.

 

              (Cover song by Luke McDaniel, Glad Music & Pappy Daily BMI)

              (Merle Haggard, Blue Book Music, BMI)

              Parody lyrics by Jack H Hopkins

             © 2016 Great Jehoshaphat Music, ASCAP

 

                         JOHN THE BAPTIST

                                     (Parody of “Pretty Boy Floyd” (Woodie Guthrie)

 

                        Well, gather ‘round, you children; a story I will tell

                        About ol’ John the Baptist; the Scripture told him well.

                        In the hills of Judaea he was born unto a priest

                        And his father Zacharias was struck dumb for disbelief.

 

                        In the temple burning incense then Gabriel did appear

                        To old Zacharias; the angel told him “do not fear.

                        For you will have a son, and you must name him John.”

                        And when the angel finished he had vanished and was gone.

 

                        Zacharias, he did come out, and when his work was done

                        He told Elizabeth his wife that she would bear a son.

                        Elizabeth, she carried her growing baby boy

                        When Cousin Mary visited, that baby kicked with joy.       

 

                        And when nine months were counted, she had her baby son

                        And John lived in the deserts until his time had come.

                        And in the time appointed, he grew into a man

                        The Word of God came down to John according to God’s plan.      

 

                        So John lived in the wilderness and wore of camel’s hair

                        And ate locusts and honey and preached repentance there.

                        Then John went to the Jordan and baptized those who came

                        And when they asked him who he was, he told them of his name. 

 

                        He told them of the Lamb of God with all respect that’s due

                        Said, “I’m not worthy to untie the laces of His shoe.”

                        When Jesus was seen among them, John he saw Him too

                        He said, “Behold the Lamb of God now walking among you.”

 

                        When Jesus asked to be baptized, then John said “no can do”

                        He told Him, “I’m the one who needs to be baptized by You.”

                        When Jesus had convinced him to baptize Him as he says:

                       “Permit it at this time so we fulfill all righteousness.”

                        So when Jesus left the water, the voice of God did speak

                        He said, “This is my beloved Son in whom I’m very pleased.”

                                 (Woodie Guthrie Publications, BMI)

                                    Parody lyrics by Jack H Hopkins

                                   © 2016 Great Jehoshaphat Music, ASCAP